Good Bye is it !!

 Sometimes, all we know is that we are leaving, don't know weather it is for the destination, or a new journey... if it's journey then we are surely leaving something behind and if it is destination then it is sure that we have left everything behind and now at the new moment there is nothing left new but just an end point which says "Turn back and see what have you crossed and realize how you reached here on the first place" but if it is a new journey and now you are all alone walking on the unknown path then still you can look back as your new path will always encourage you because looking back you may realize that "the mountains you have climbed were harder than the one you are climbing, the path you were walking on was way too dangerous than the current one" and you have crossed it, you have overcome all the obstacles in your way, if you survived that... sorry not survived but lived, if you are alive post crossing those obstacles then nothing can kill you for sure, yes you may have died many lives, walking that street but everything that ends makes way for something new, only two scenarios takes place in such situations, either you are filled with emotions during the process or all the emotions may have died, the second case is obvious and if we talk about percentage then almost 90%  population belongs to such categories, they lived ones, they died and the new version of them chose to walk alone not giving damn about anyone who crossed their path in past, present or future, and then comes the rest 10% who chose to live, live even after they died, the new version of them feels everything besides neglecting it, they chose to live that every emotion which kills them, they have chose to embrace the joy and celebrate the period of sadness because they have finally reached to the point where they know that nothing stays eventually every moment everything just pass away, so why not just enjoy what we have!!! Those who died always wished and waited for something big to happen for celebration and those who are living always found some ways to celebrate, small achievements, small moments, short term happiness everything was short because somewhere they knew that "Don't  know what is hidden in tomorrow, weather it is going to be good or bad or worst, but all we know is today is beautiful so living today is important, doesn't matter good or bad, if good then you lived pretty well and if bad!! then you can say you are alive" paths can't be the same as always, we can choose to cross them but we can't choose how to cross them weather to cross alone or with someone, but here's the fact "crossing alone will never take you to the experience of being with someone and sharing your emotions, it will make you tough which may be good for you but not for your own people, if they suffer the emotional loss because of you, then I think that's not worth it" and if you chose to cross it with some other trespassers of your way then might be the journey will be easy and besides looking at hardships you will be looking at the journey it will be like when while walking on a road you see a stone and cross it, besides looking at it and thinking "Damn there are too much stones" you will only be saying that while  walking alone.

In the end you have to say Good Bye to your journey partner and I guess that's the bravest task to attempt, you know you are not going to see them again, you know that you will never know where they are and where they will be post that single moment... that's where the game of dead and alive begins, some die after that single "Good Bye" and some just vanish off everything and start everything fresh, does it means that those who started everything fresh doesn't felt anything while drifting apart!!! I will say that's not even possible, the fact is they were familiar with the pattern and they decided not to pay attention to that feeling but deep down this is what it must be going on,

"It's the two ends of the same rope, one in one's hand and other one in second's, while saying Good Bye either one of them are going to loose the end and drift apart or both are going to pull it straight and while drifting apart it will break from the mid" 

"Existence of two people are like inscription on wall while saying Good Bye either one of them cries and every single word just wash off from that wall"

"Rain poured with a beautiful experience but ended up in disastrous flood who washed away everything and now everything has to be restructured"

"Moon walking along the road side and clouds make their way to hide if off and everywhere the only thing pertains is darkness"

"You were walking along a long road with someone, walked few steps ahead and turned back to see, you find yourself alone because no one is there"

All these experiences they hold in their heart close it down and dump them in corner somewhere which is the darkest place and their relies their all dark experiences of life, that numbness in them in last minute before drifting apart, that silence, that holding yourself together and pulling up your feelings, that lack of eye contact and smile at the end, that no turning back while leaving, that slowing down of foot steps to hold back time for a while, that hoping that "what if it never has to end", that smiling and at the final moment saying "Good Bye isn't it".

That Journey!!! that kills people sometimes and from the next minute of Good Bye divides people in that 90% to 10% ratio.

Good Bye's are hard very hard and when someone asks you "Good Bye is it?" we might understand that a chapter of life is going to close, doesn't matters if you are going to meet again or not, because even if you are going to meet the person again then also something is going to change but in that case the change will be so minor that we resist to see it.  

Isolation

Isolation...

It is a very common word that introverts use very often in their day to day life... but why? Do they love being alone? Or they prefer being alone? Are they scared of people? What is the reason that god exactly knows...

But what if they are not introverts exactly... the experiences forced them to be instead... actually!! There is a possibility that this would have happened.... but lets not go there... here lets talk about the isolation...

Basically this is not maiden in some cases but it just happens for instance "if you are hell talkative in nature and having so much to chatter and blabber which you usually do around your friends" and then they suddenly they starts behaving being busy or leaving you, and now you are too alone finding no one to talk, it leads you towards two situations either you will find a person close to you in your family or you will just stop talking to anyone who is around you... and believe me you get habituated with that and you learn a good thing that is having fun being alone and that's a good thing no wonder... but then few people walks in trying to figure out the problem with you... they talk exactly your taste of things, few common things and BOOM!!!.... blast off for the very precious thing you have learnt.... your fun being alone is now has been replaced by fun with others.... now here you think this is right as you have to walk with the society but something is there you are messing up with.... and you know what is that?? Yes it's you.. you are messing up with yourself because what happens next is. people leave you when you need them the most and then you have no other option besides smiling and letting them go.... you come over with new people meeting them over face to face or on social media... and then the cycle repeats... Social media that's the main villain in your story here you meet people who seems to be much interested in you by a constant reply over your message or making positive response over your posts... hell yeah!!! That damn irritating post which you find nothing worth of when you look back at it.... this is thing where you start falling... falling so badly that you never see what exactly you are doing.... your talkative nature has began to rise again you are finding your mates over it you are finding your best friends you are finding those who are understanding you at every aspect who are encouraging you as you mean a world to them and those who are coming online just to have some chit chat with you.... but what next ??? Let me tell you now what happens... time changes... your inbox is not fetching new messages anymore... your inbox doesn't have that one number or one name which use to be there all the time at any time of day... now the problem arises because till now you are habituated to share that every single thing with that one particular person who suddenly disappeared... disappeared as if he or she was never there... and congratulations!! now you don't trust anyone and don't talk to anyone and now you have turned out into a depressed and anxious person, now those empty inboxes make you realize that... that's what you are... that's what you were at every moment since beginning.... Alone .... all alone... and so alone that you are tired now... and you are talking to everyone just to make them believe that they are not alone... what you are trying to do is just to secure them from the feeling you are going through... till now you know how it feels... feeling being so alone that when you need someone besides, you find nothing but a dead social account and a silent phone which doesn't matter either on silent mode or General... because you know it has hardly one person whose ring will be there otherwise its just a dummy model which doesn't even vibrates LOL...that's exactly how isolation can be felt and yes this leads you to being an anxious, yes that leads you towards being so insecure about your self and your emotion... so what??? Does this mean you are going to allow everyone to return?? NAH!!!!  It won't happen because you are tired now... my dear you desperately need a break from people to heal yourself.... you are not an idiot to be the person who you are or who you were.... not even sorry but... you are just protecting everyone that they shouldn't feel what you have felt.... nothing will happen that empty inbox will lead you to distract from the world which created a misery for you... and that's OKAY... but don't feel sorry for yourself because you did what was right and they did what was their part.... moving on a roads leads you to meeting numerous of people but that doesn't means that they are going to be with you in your journey.... those who would like to accompany you in your adventurous journey will hold your hand unknowingly and walk with you along the dangerous paths as well... they will understand very well that when you want to walk silently without a conversation and when you need to get crazy all the way along.... If you are waiting for the same then Bravo!!! You are a positive soul... but if you wish to go back!!! On a single voice by the one who left long back.... then my dear.... YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE....

"Choose that one road which leads you towards the destination

Not the one walking on which you feel like you should go back" 

"If you are tired take a break, doesn't matter how long as it totally depends on the level of being tired because mental tiredness leads you towards taking wrong decisions"

Tears need to be shown???

Sometimes you just want to breakdown and wish that your tears shed on someone's shoulder who always says that they are with you, but before doing so hold on for a while and think about it, is it right to do so? Will they be able to understand that exactly what kind of a pain you are going through!! Will they be able to understand that what is the reason you broke down so ofently!!! Breaking down is okay!! Will they ever be able to understand what you are going through!!! Your tears are your expression over a scenario, your tears are your feelings which will be hurt more if not understood they will hurt you more... so better before expressing examine them and let the dark nights and alone path witness your sorrows.... be careful before sharing what you are feeling.... Think and move

Life is easy??

Whenever we are bound to question something, the first thing we ask always remains "Why life shows you ups and downs?" and then the sequence starts "why everyone compares us with someone else?" , "why do  our parents keep comparing us with kids in our neighborhood?" ,  "Why they are so compete centric?" and the major question "why the hell this only takes place in India?" SO the answer to such question is "this happens because we allow it to happen... we don't know what exactly is right for us, but all we know about ourselves is we can do everything and we can not do everything, some things are highly under our potential and somethings are out of our reach, as if you think that you can touch the moon passing by mars, same as you reach your destination committing a meeting to a friend knowing that it will take more time and distance, but you can't do it, as you can either reach your destination on time or meet your friend as committed, not because you can not manage time but because no matter how early you will leave the place you will be late to your destination because after meeting your friend, you will not notice time and all the thing will lead a way to bin. the concept is same either you can meet your parent's expectation or you can plan out things for yourself. question remains same in every era but you need to figure out how to keep calm and patience.

DEAR LETTER

Dear letter,

Here I am with some of my complaints again and I guess till now you would have been more familiar with my mind set, today my rage is towards the growing use of media and ignorance towards you, yes there are many reason to support them and ignore you but how can someone ignore you I mean you are the only one who holds all the feelings one write or one holds in their heart, you are the one who help them to express what they are feeling exactly and you are the one whom anyone can secure till the ages and you will not be destroyed then why they want to forget you and why they think that meeting you or writing you is an unnecessary task and waste of time. Its good that today we don’t need you and we can directly connect through our loved ones without wasting days and days but you still hold a place right!!! you are the one whose value cant neither be created nor be destroyed, you were the one who became mode of those several love stories which are written in history, you were the only one who was the mode of expression of feelings to various people in the world, you are the one who taught what is writing and how to convey our feelings to other, the pain can be described by you only, those wet trails on you describes that what people have been gone through while writing you, those mistakes in writing letters conveyed that how the writer was exited to narrate or share the incident with you, you were a legend and you are a legend then why people think that you don’t value. I mean you are the only one right!! whose wait was necessary and breathtaking too, people use to wait for you as their life will get back into the world as you get in their hands, you were the one who hold token of love by their loved one’s a kid use to wait for you as his father or mother resembles in you through their writing, a wife a mother a father a husband every one use to wait for you which was worth of because they could secure you by heart and physically too, then why these people don’t get you, they should understand your value and beside using you as a template for their writing and several poetry and quotes they must value you and should understand that you are not just a vintage template but exist too, you are the one who hold more value then those long messages. They should get who you are letter. With this thought I am signing off from here hoping that I didn’t troubled you much.

Yours truly

Surbhi.

Thoughts within

Sometimes it feels like everything is waste and everything needs to be shut down whether it is your priorities or your work or your daily messed up situational events. Feels like everything is just needs to be over everything needs to be stop here itself, It is getting worse time to time each passing minute is drowning you into a deep expression of depression, every single person is trying to overcome you with your weakness, you are being teased at every single moment for your dis abilities. Something is running in your mind every second and within a second people declare you over thinker 

It is Not EASY...

It's not easy right!!
living life without question and answers. I don't think so...
because at every level of life of we can say at every level of moment we have to decide that what is wrong and what is right and whether the step taken by us is right or wrong!!
But have you ever focused that why such question are standing there in front of you every time and every moment? why such questions are bothering you every moment.
of course we all know that we have not thought it for once. If we had... we haven't being in this situation right now.
When we are suppose to commit any thing good or bad it always have an indication in the face of our eternal voice which we ignore every time. It always stops you from doing anything in rush and think twice but you choose to ignore it and that results into our happenings our results. When it results bad our happiness reaches on peak but when it results into worse we always die in guilt and every single minute we have an question that "hope this wouldn't had happened, hope I would have stopped that moment" this is the only thing which remains constant with us in our lives.
So it is obvious that it is not easy....
listening to that voice is not easy
listening to our brain that is also not easy
and doing what you want without any problem that is not easy
at every step you have to choose
and the choice remains between right and wrong when this fight takes place it results into an eternal war.
That war is the only thing which leads to depression and aggression
the only solution is to hear the right keeping in mind that it will hurt for sometime but if you choose wrong it will give you happiness for some time but a pain and guilt for life time.
Choice is yours life is yours and as I said earlier both are not easy.